Author Topic: Funny stuff  (Read 59811 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2009, 10:47:38 PM »
Good one!!! :D
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #16 on: December 24, 2009, 07:52:30 AM »
 FOR ALL THE BEER DRINKERS!!!!!     
Best Beer Commercial Ever!
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline BB3

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2009, 10:51:58 AM »
Kingman, You Are Sooooo Right. Beautiful. :P-------Thanks For Posting.------BILL
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Offline MasterBlaster

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2009, 11:23:50 AM »
FOR ALL THE BEER DRINKERS!!!!!

Omg, That would never be permitted on american television.


Being a beer snob, this is kindof a turnoff for me.


They must be feeling the competition from all the microbrews for them to resort to such a marketing theme...
To me, it seems like they need to use sex as a crutch; is their beer not good enough to sell without this ploy? I guess not.

Does this make me want to buy guinness? Nope.

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Offline thuffman03

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2009, 09:41:00 PM »
That is just wrong.  Funny but wrong!
Got Carver?

Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #20 on: December 30, 2009, 07:47:13 PM »
From the southern boy...........Things I Learned Living in South Carolina :

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in South
Carolina


3. There are 10,000 types of spiders.  All 10,000 of them live in South
Carolina , plus a couple no one's ever seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya.  If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5.'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

6. It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?'

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.'  There's only dinner and then
there's supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it
when
you're two, and South Carolinians do like a little tea with our sugar!

12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'Jeet' is actually a question meaning 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time
it
is.  You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

16. 'No.  Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any
beer?'

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable,
grain, insect or animal.

4. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

5. You carry jumper cables in your car...  For your OWN car.

6. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, vinegar, ketchup, and Texas
Pete.

7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
but
require 6 pages for local gossip and motor sports.

8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and
Christmas.

11. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as Goin' to Wally
World.

12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken
stew weather.

13. Fried catfish is the other white meat.





14. You that understand these jokes, forward them to your South Carolina
friends (and those who just wish they lived in South Carolina ).

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2010, 10:17:02 PM »
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER !!!
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small.. Instead of characteristically
telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a
suggestion..

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will
this take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I
stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline MasterBlaster

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2010, 10:49:52 PM »
Rotflmao! Good one!
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2010, 07:39:11 PM »
Yea!!!!!!
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Colinbgood

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2010, 10:08:47 PM »
Shii - The Wii for Women
Need more Carver! Comming soon a pair of silver 7t's!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2010, 12:33:16 AM »
:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline mikey813

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2010, 10:18:28 AM »
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2010, 06:44:37 AM »
The Little Old Lady And The Biker*

 
A biker stopped by the local Harley shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and he would walk home.
 On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem -- how to carry all his purchases home.
 While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?" The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane . I would walk you home but I can't carry all this stuff."
 The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?
 "Why, thank you very much," he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he said, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
 The little old lady looked him over cautiously, and said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
 The biker said, "Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you against a wall and do that?"
 The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline BB3

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Re: Funny stuff
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2010, 12:12:16 PM »
^^^^^^^^^

That's A Good One Kingman. hehehehehehe ;D Thanks For Posting.----BILL(BB3)
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Offline rgpit

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Male Delivery
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2010, 03:12:39 PM »
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby boy delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.

They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt Fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The Doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was found, dead on the porch.
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