"What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
Seems legit.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Pretty sure this was engineers but once again seems legit.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
You return the girlfriend's calls?
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
Seems legit.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
I would think a good gun with ammunition would do better.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Men want to marry virgins?
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Seems legit.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
The dog is fine humping just your leg.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Note to self: Dogs want to have sex with my car.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
Seems legit
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
ok.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
She found out?! Shit.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Seems legit.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Hey now! I am from West Virginia... Seems legit.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
http://9gag.com/gag/2527094 Read that.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
I dn'to gte ti.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.".
Priorities.