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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303696 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #555 on: August 22, 2016, 07:41:03 AM »
Some people I meet are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #556 on: August 23, 2016, 09:58:23 AM »
When your kids are little you're a superhero. When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility.
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Offline papabearjew

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #557 on: August 23, 2016, 02:46:00 PM »
Quote from: Kingman on August 23, 2016, 09:58:23 AM
When your kids are little you're a superhero. When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility.

I'm one of those cool dads. I guess that's why my sons are so cool.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #558 on: August 25, 2016, 09:23:25 AM »
One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday – at least eight hours.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #559 on: August 26, 2016, 08:59:48 AM »
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off...... :laugh:
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #560 on: August 29, 2016, 07:47:40 AM »
What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #561 on: September 03, 2016, 12:33:50 PM »
Sports do not build character. They reveal it.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #562 on: September 05, 2016, 07:22:13 AM »
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #563 on: September 06, 2016, 08:55:18 AM »
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #564 on: September 08, 2016, 06:39:54 AM »
I'm a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!  :laugh:
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #565 on: September 12, 2016, 09:38:15 AM »
Music makes every day better, especially if you turn it up just loud enough to drown out all the people around you.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #566 on: September 21, 2016, 07:47:30 AM »
One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #567 on: September 23, 2016, 06:23:42 AM »
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #568 on: September 25, 2016, 08:15:36 AM »
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out evenly over the course of the week.... :laugh:
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #569 on: September 26, 2016, 08:49:25 AM »
 Saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
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