A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the
counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand
dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and
asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you
get all the money in the jar and the keys to a
brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so
he asks,
"What are the three tests?"
"You gatta pay first," says the bartender, "those
are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives
the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you
need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of
tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't
make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back
with a bad tooth. You have to remove that
tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs
who's never had sex. You have to take care
of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -
but I'm not an idiot!
I won't do it! You'd have
to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then
do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your
money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks
and finally says,"Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks
it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks - but he doesn't
make a face - and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he
sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the
people inside the bar hear loud growling,
screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -
then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must
be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His
clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding
from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old
woman with the bad tooth?"
