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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303252 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #210 on: January 04, 2013, 06:18:11 AM »

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #211 on: January 10, 2013, 02:07:25 PM »

Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #212 on: January 13, 2013, 08:20:12 AM »

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #213 on: January 18, 2013, 06:46:31 AM »

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #214 on: February 01, 2013, 08:39:20 PM »

Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #215 on: February 03, 2013, 06:51:54 AM »

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #216 on: February 07, 2013, 07:15:30 AM »

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #217 on: February 22, 2013, 07:50:07 AM »

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #218 on: March 02, 2013, 06:18:25 AM »

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #219 on: March 10, 2013, 11:19:59 AM »
You know what it feels like when you lean back in a chair and almost go over backwards, but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time....
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #220 on: March 14, 2013, 07:20:01 AM »
Life’s not a garden, so don’t be a hoe.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #221 on: March 27, 2013, 12:45:06 PM »

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #222 on: March 29, 2013, 08:43:36 AM »

I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #223 on: April 23, 2013, 06:08:18 AM »
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #224 on: April 24, 2013, 06:27:17 AM »
 My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
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