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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303342 times)

Offline MacGeek

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #345 on: November 30, 2014, 09:08:46 AM »
Life is all about asses.

You're either covering it,

Laughing it off,

Kicking it,

Kissing it,

Busting it,

Trying to get a piece of it,

Or behaving like one.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #346 on: December 02, 2014, 09:41:55 AM »
A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair... and a table...
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #347 on: December 04, 2014, 07:59:04 AM »
It's, "Jamaican hairstyle day", at work tomorrow. I'm dreading it.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #348 on: December 05, 2014, 07:53:51 AM »
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #349 on: December 06, 2014, 08:43:08 AM »
Just realized I'll never be a lawyer....I can't pass a bar.....
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #350 on: December 07, 2014, 06:45:10 AM »
 You remind me of my Chinese friend...UG-LEE  !!!  :P
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #351 on: December 08, 2014, 07:44:47 AM »
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #352 on: December 09, 2014, 09:45:35 AM »
I'm a really down to Earth type guy cause...you know...gravity...
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #353 on: December 10, 2014, 08:06:59 AM »
Whats the last thing that went through Sally's mind after jumping from a skyscraper?
Her ankles..... >:D
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #354 on: December 11, 2014, 07:55:58 AM »
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit.''
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #355 on: December 12, 2014, 07:23:19 AM »
That moment when you sit on a public toilet and the seat is still warm.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #356 on: December 13, 2014, 11:42:35 AM »
I'm not calling you a slut, but if you were a video game you'd be rated 'E For Everyone'
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #357 on: December 16, 2014, 08:50:43 AM »
I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #358 on: December 17, 2014, 07:24:37 AM »
I think that condoms need to be located in the baby aisle next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #359 on: December 18, 2014, 07:32:48 AM »
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane!  :o
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