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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303619 times)

Offline Gelid

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #465 on: May 06, 2016, 04:56:39 PM »
A good drinking buddy will bail you out of jail, but a great drinking buddy will be sitting in the cell beside you, saying, “Man, that was awesome!”
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #466 on: May 07, 2016, 09:23:13 AM »
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #467 on: May 09, 2016, 06:37:07 AM »
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
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Offline papabearjew

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #468 on: May 09, 2016, 10:12:51 PM »
Quote from: Kingman on May 09, 2016, 06:37:07 AM
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

I'm great at procrastinating. I'd put off all of the above
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #469 on: May 10, 2016, 06:21:51 PM »
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #470 on: May 12, 2016, 07:47:03 AM »
There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #471 on: May 13, 2016, 08:13:08 AM »
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #472 on: May 14, 2016, 07:49:16 AM »
Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #473 on: May 15, 2016, 12:25:54 PM »
Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you...
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #474 on: May 16, 2016, 08:51:03 AM »
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them...
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #475 on: May 17, 2016, 05:45:13 AM »
I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #476 on: May 21, 2016, 11:54:17 AM »
Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #477 on: May 22, 2016, 06:51:50 AM »
Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #478 on: May 23, 2016, 07:21:24 AM »
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #479 on: May 24, 2016, 06:37:45 AM »
There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.
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