Author Topic: Daily starters (Read 303694 times)

Kingman · « **Reply #585 on:** October 27, 2016, 07:52:18 AM »

When I was young I did stupid things because I didn't know any better. Now I know better and do stupid things because I miss being young.

Kingman · « **Reply #586 on:** October 28, 2016, 08:48:15 AM »

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.

Kingman · « **Reply #587 on:** October 30, 2016, 08:24:06 AM »

Economic theory usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.

Kingman · « **Reply #588 on:** October 31, 2016, 02:40:53 PM »

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

Kingman · « **Reply #589 on:** November 02, 2016, 06:57:13 PM »

I'm so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.

Kingman · « **Reply #590 on:** November 04, 2016, 07:47:42 AM »

Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.

Kingman · « **Reply #591 on:** November 06, 2016, 08:36:49 AM »

One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.

Kingman · « **Reply #592 on:** November 15, 2016, 07:52:08 AM »

When Miley Cyrus gets naked & licks a hammer it's "art" & "music". But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and have to leave the hardware store.

Kingman · « **Reply #593 on:** November 17, 2016, 08:41:58 PM »

Feeling pretty damn proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months!

Kingman · « **Reply #594 on:** November 19, 2016, 09:28:46 AM »

Relationships between men and women are psychological. She is psycho and he is logical.

Kingman · « **Reply #595 on:** November 22, 2016, 07:34:12 AM »

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

Jim Pittsburgh · « **Reply #596 on:** November 22, 2016, 09:21:38 AM »

nice!

MacGeek · « **Reply #597 on:** November 22, 2016, 05:59:08 PM »

I once had neighbors listening to my music, even making requests. Then, one of them didn't like it and called the police.

Kingman · « **Reply #598 on:** November 23, 2016, 07:28:20 AM »

Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing.

Kingman · « **Reply #599 on:** November 24, 2016, 07:15:34 AM »

Just think about it...if the Pilgrims had shot a bobcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!!!

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