Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 316425 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #90 on: May 16, 2012, 06:58:56 AM »
By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong....
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #91 on: May 17, 2012, 06:59:43 AM »

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #92 on: May 18, 2012, 06:19:46 AM »

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks....

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #93 on: May 19, 2012, 08:51:26 AM »
   
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game....

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Offline MasterBlaster

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #94 on: May 19, 2012, 10:18:26 AM »
If at first you don't succeed,try,try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #95 on: May 20, 2012, 06:23:30 AM »

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"...

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #96 on: May 21, 2012, 06:41:30 AM »

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die....

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #97 on: May 22, 2012, 06:59:21 AM »

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #98 on: May 23, 2012, 06:44:11 AM »
   
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #99 on: May 24, 2012, 05:48:47 AM »

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted....

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #100 on: May 25, 2012, 08:28:41 AM »

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #101 on: May 26, 2012, 07:04:04 AM »

Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #102 on: May 27, 2012, 07:13:58 AM »

Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #103 on: May 28, 2012, 06:36:48 AM »

We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour...

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #104 on: May 29, 2012, 06:30:34 AM »

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!