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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303184 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #90 on: May 16, 2012, 06:58:56 AM »
By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong....
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #91 on: May 17, 2012, 06:59:43 AM »

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #92 on: May 18, 2012, 06:19:46 AM »

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks....

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #93 on: May 19, 2012, 08:51:26 AM »
   
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game....

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Offline MasterBlaster

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #94 on: May 19, 2012, 10:18:26 AM »
If at first you don't succeed,try,try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #95 on: May 20, 2012, 06:23:30 AM »

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"...

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #96 on: May 21, 2012, 06:41:30 AM »

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die....

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #97 on: May 22, 2012, 06:59:21 AM »

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #98 on: May 23, 2012, 06:44:11 AM »
   
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #99 on: May 24, 2012, 05:48:47 AM »

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted....

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #100 on: May 25, 2012, 08:28:41 AM »

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #101 on: May 26, 2012, 07:04:04 AM »

Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #102 on: May 27, 2012, 07:13:58 AM »

Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #103 on: May 28, 2012, 06:36:48 AM »

We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour...

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #104 on: May 29, 2012, 06:30:34 AM »

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

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