« previous next »
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 8   Go Down

Author Topic: This is funny!!!  (Read 44010 times)

Offline MasterBlaster

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 1100
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2010, 10:50:33 PM »
« Last Edit: December 14, 2010, 11:09:42 PM by Master Blaster »
Logged
HT: Audiocontrol Maestro M3, Sunfire 5*200,  Tannoy Mercury MX , SVS PB-12 Sub

Head-Fi: FUBAR IV Plus DAC, Grado SR225

Living Room: Dynaco ST-70 (R&R work done by NATOE), Dynaco PAS Preamp, Jamo C607 towers, MCS 6710 Turntable

Offline rgpit

  • MAD Scientist
  • *
  • Posts: 512
  • Karma: +1/-0
    • My Music Collection
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #31 on: December 23, 2010, 02:18:44 PM »
An old golfer comes in from a round of
golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through
the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN
SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be
sure he has the necessary payment, the old
golfer walks up to the bar
and beckons to the exceptionally attractive
female bartender who is
serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled
golfers. She glides down
behind the bar to the old golfer.

"Yes?" she inquires with a
wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"

The old golfer leans over
the bar and whispers, "I was wondering, young
lady," he whispers,
"are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

She looks into his
eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir , I
sure am." The old
golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says
softly, "Well,
wash your hands real f**king good because I want
a cheeseburger."

Logged
Pioneer PLX-1000, Nagaoka MP-150, Tascam CD200, microRendu, Sonictransporter I5, Benchmark DAC2HGC & AHB2, Harbeth Compact 7ES-3s, Analog Research Velluto, minidsp 2X4HD, SB Acoustics DIY subs, Sony HDR-F1HD, Alesis ML9600

Offline MasterBlaster

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 1100
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #32 on: December 23, 2010, 04:46:11 PM »
Lol good one
Logged
HT: Audiocontrol Maestro M3, Sunfire 5*200,  Tannoy Mercury MX , SVS PB-12 Sub

Head-Fi: FUBAR IV Plus DAC, Grado SR225

Living Room: Dynaco ST-70 (R&R work done by NATOE), Dynaco PAS Preamp, Jamo C607 towers, MCS 6710 Turntable

Offline Falcon

  • Polk Killer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1131
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2010, 05:39:00 PM »
Very funny!!
Logged

Offline Kingman

  • Southern Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3127
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • OCCD...I GOT IT BADD!!!!!!!!!
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2010, 06:51:49 PM »
Cute!!!
Logged
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline MasterBlaster

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 1100
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #35 on: December 28, 2010, 04:34:59 PM »
 
Logged
HT: Audiocontrol Maestro M3, Sunfire 5*200,  Tannoy Mercury MX , SVS PB-12 Sub

Head-Fi: FUBAR IV Plus DAC, Grado SR225

Living Room: Dynaco ST-70 (R&R work done by NATOE), Dynaco PAS Preamp, Jamo C607 towers, MCS 6710 Turntable

Offline Kingman

  • Southern Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3127
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • OCCD...I GOT IT BADD!!!!!!!!!
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #36 on: December 28, 2010, 05:43:03 PM »
Funny one Master of all Blasted!!!!!  :P
Logged
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Slim-Shaddy

  • CARVER KILLER!!!
  • ******
  • Posts: 1555
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Tubes are for boobs
    • This is Bullshit
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #37 on: February 06, 2011, 08:39:10 AM »
Jane and Arlene

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
 
The pharmacist fainted.
Logged
I am confident that an SL-1200 is capable of outperforming turntables of much higher expense with minor modification.

Offline OCCD

  • Woof
  • Ready For Intervention!
  • ******
  • Posts: 1741
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • glub glub glub
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #38 on: February 28, 2011, 05:17:29 PM »
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said “NO!”   




 

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went
fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and
drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the
toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

 :P :P :P :P :P :P
Logged
Do you want ants? Because THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

Offline wkhanna

  • Double Secret Probation!
  • **
  • Posts: 225
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Practicing Curmudgeon & Audio Snob
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #39 on: February 28, 2011, 08:12:47 PM »
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
 
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2011, 08:27:44 PM by wkhanna »
Logged
....just an "ON" switch, Please!

Offline Kingman

  • Southern Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3127
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • OCCD...I GOT IT BADD!!!!!!!!!
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #40 on: February 28, 2011, 09:06:36 PM »
That IS funny!!!!!  :P :P :P
Logged
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline OCCD

  • Woof
  • Ready For Intervention!
  • ******
  • Posts: 1741
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • glub glub glub
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #41 on: February 28, 2011, 09:34:06 PM »
 :P :P :P :P
Logged
Do you want ants? Because THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

Offline Slim-Shaddy

  • CARVER KILLER!!!
  • ******
  • Posts: 1555
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Tubes are for boobs
    • This is Bullshit
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #42 on: March 01, 2011, 12:05:05 AM »
 :P Funny as hell!!
Logged
I am confident that an SL-1200 is capable of outperforming turntables of much higher expense with minor modification.

Offline OCCD

  • Woof
  • Ready For Intervention!
  • ******
  • Posts: 1741
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • glub glub glub
    • Vintage HiFi of Pittsburgh
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #43 on: March 01, 2011, 02:15:26 AM »
Logged
Do you want ants? Because THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

Offline Kingman

  • Southern Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3127
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • OCCD...I GOT IT BADD!!!!!!!!!
Re: This is funny!!!
« Reply #44 on: March 01, 2011, 09:03:41 AM »
GOOD ONE!!!!!    :P
Logged
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 8   Go Up
« previous next »