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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 316699 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #255 on: April 01, 2014, 06:45:28 AM »
For Pepe...Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?
A: They steal all the green cards.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #256 on: April 02, 2014, 08:19:25 AM »
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #257 on: April 04, 2014, 08:18:06 AM »
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #258 on: April 05, 2014, 11:45:12 AM »
Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #259 on: April 06, 2014, 08:34:20 AM »
Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

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Offline MacGeek

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #260 on: April 06, 2014, 12:27:50 PM »
Meet Walter Barnes - All golfers should live so long as to become this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All

responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.

"Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped

their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us
all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit,

turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all them assholes" - and he calmly returned to his seat.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #261 on: April 07, 2014, 08:37:12 AM »
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #262 on: April 08, 2014, 08:07:33 AM »
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #263 on: April 09, 2014, 08:04:57 AM »
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #264 on: April 11, 2014, 08:54:22 AM »
Q: When does a cub scout become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.  :P

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Offline papabearjew

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #265 on: April 11, 2014, 04:45:43 PM »
I got thrown out of cub scouts for eating brownies
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Offline geoffr

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #266 on: April 11, 2014, 10:08:49 PM »
What's the difference between a clam digger with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The clam digger shucks between fits.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #267 on: April 12, 2014, 10:02:51 AM »
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been f**king the chickens!  :laugh:

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #268 on: April 13, 2014, 10:07:53 AM »
Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #269 on: April 14, 2014, 07:15:58 AM »
Q: What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
A: f**kS FUNNY
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