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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 317469 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #375 on: January 03, 2015, 11:04:37 AM »

 I bet your father was a good farmer, cause you're one fine hoe.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #376 on: January 04, 2015, 08:38:43 AM »
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.... ;)
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #377 on: January 05, 2015, 07:12:20 AM »
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?.....
 One's a Goodyear and the other is a f**king good year !!!  :laugh:
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #378 on: January 07, 2015, 08:07:02 AM »
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #379 on: January 08, 2015, 07:28:47 AM »
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while you are having sex?
 A. Call her and tell her.  :-*
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Offline geoffr

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #380 on: January 08, 2015, 05:05:17 PM »
Quote from: Kingman on January 08, 2015, 07:28:47 AM
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while you are having sex?
 A. Call her and tell her.  :-*

I thought it was when you wipe your dick off on the curtains.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #381 on: January 09, 2015, 07:11:52 AM »
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.   :'(
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #382 on: January 11, 2015, 08:38:44 AM »
Q: What is Mozart doing right now?
A: Decomposing.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #383 on: January 13, 2015, 06:59:22 AM »
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #384 on: January 15, 2015, 08:15:29 AM »
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
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Offline rgpit

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #385 on: January 16, 2015, 10:32:07 AM »
ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #386 on: January 17, 2015, 05:27:42 AM »
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run because she has a grenade in her mouth.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #387 on: January 19, 2015, 07:44:08 AM »
10 Facts About You:
1. You're reading this now.
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.
5. You're checking now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #388 on: January 25, 2015, 09:27:39 AM »
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #389 on: January 26, 2015, 06:41:32 AM »
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
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