Author Topic: Daily starters (Read 319544 times)

Kingman · « **Reply #420 on:** March 17, 2015, 10:23:01 AM »

The knowledge that can hurt you worst is the knowledge you don't have.

Kingman · « **Reply #421 on:** March 18, 2015, 07:30:28 AM »

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table!

Kingman · « **Reply #422 on:** March 19, 2015, 08:34:38 AM »

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

Kingman · « **Reply #423 on:** March 20, 2015, 07:21:11 AM »

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…

Kingman · « **Reply #424 on:** March 23, 2015, 07:37:25 AM »

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Kingman · « **Reply #425 on:** March 25, 2015, 07:04:44 AM »

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Kingman · « **Reply #426 on:** March 26, 2015, 06:48:06 AM »

Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Kingman · « **Reply #427 on:** March 27, 2015, 07:32:37 AM »

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

Kingman · « **Reply #428 on:** March 29, 2015, 06:14:39 AM »

Man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less money than his wife did.

Kingman · « **Reply #429 on:** March 30, 2015, 07:28:36 AM »

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Kingman · « **Reply #430 on:** April 03, 2015, 04:07:29 PM »

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Kingman · « **Reply #431 on:** April 06, 2015, 06:52:19 AM »

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Kingman · « **Reply #432 on:** April 09, 2015, 07:01:39 AM »

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Kingman · « **Reply #433 on:** April 17, 2015, 06:45:37 AM »

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Kingman · « **Reply #434 on:** April 22, 2015, 07:41:43 AM »

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

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