Author Topic: Daily starters (Read 305991 times)

Kingman · « **Reply #525 on:** July 13, 2016, 06:58:05 AM »

I had amnesia once - well, maybe twice.

Kingman · « **Reply #526 on:** July 14, 2016, 06:41:10 AM »

I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Kingman · « **Reply #527 on:** July 15, 2016, 08:25:02 AM »

A friend is like a book: you don't need to read all of them, just pick the best ones

Kingman · « **Reply #528 on:** July 16, 2016, 10:45:05 AM »

Kingman · « **Reply #529 on:** July 17, 2016, 05:37:42 AM »

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.

Kingman · « **Reply #530 on:** July 18, 2016, 09:18:32 AM »

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Kingman · « **Reply #531 on:** July 19, 2016, 07:15:31 AM »

My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter....

Kingman · « **Reply #532 on:** July 20, 2016, 08:55:37 AM »

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

Kingman · « **Reply #533 on:** July 21, 2016, 09:28:59 AM »

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

Kingman · « **Reply #534 on:** July 22, 2016, 08:11:52 AM »

The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk.

Kingman · « **Reply #535 on:** July 23, 2016, 07:40:59 AM »

Most people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams come true....

Kingman · « **Reply #536 on:** July 24, 2016, 07:49:11 AM »

Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand...

Kingman · « **Reply #537 on:** July 25, 2016, 06:58:41 AM »

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

Kingman · « **Reply #538 on:** July 27, 2016, 08:51:33 AM »

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.

Kingman · « **Reply #539 on:** July 28, 2016, 07:46:26 AM »

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them!

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