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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 304176 times)

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #990 on: June 27, 2020, 10:30:27 AM »
Everything is made in China these days...including my cough.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #991 on: June 28, 2020, 10:27:42 AM »
Went to a vegan BBQ yesterday. Had a good time, but the vegan was overcooked.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #992 on: June 29, 2020, 10:37:19 AM »
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #993 on: July 01, 2020, 09:14:54 AM »
Besides the obvious, what's the worst feeling you could have during a prostate exam?

Hands on your shoulders.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #994 on: July 02, 2020, 09:15:37 AM »
A man goes to a therapist because of his phobia of getting married.

The therapist asks, "Do you know the symptoms?"

The man replies, "Can't say I do."
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #995 on: July 05, 2020, 09:42:48 AM »
There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator, only a fraction will get it.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #996 on: July 06, 2020, 10:08:57 AM »
What's the last thing they gave Tickle Me Elmo before he left the factory? Two test tickles.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #997 on: July 08, 2020, 10:15:43 AM »
A visibly upset blond walks into a store and slams a can of fly spray on the counter. "I demand a refund! I sprayed this whole can on my son and he still cannot fly!"
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #998 on: July 12, 2020, 10:46:02 AM »
I would never be sexist. Sexism is wrong. Being wrong is for women.
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Offline geoffr

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #999 on: July 12, 2020, 11:10:42 AM »
Women
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1000 on: July 15, 2020, 10:49:11 AM »
While standing in line at the bank a few days ago, an older lady asked me to check her balance. I pushed her and she fell over. Her balance was not good.
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Offline gdv

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1001 on: July 15, 2020, 04:26:13 PM »
Funny!  :)

They say life is all about balance!  ;)
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5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions...

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1002 on: July 16, 2020, 10:23:03 AM »
What's the difference between fiction and reality?

Fiction has to make sense.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1003 on: July 17, 2020, 09:45:12 AM »
A cop pulls over a car with two priests.

As he makes his way to the window he says, "We're looking for two child molesters"

The two priests look at each other then turn to the cop, "We'll do it!"
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Offline Vpgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1004 on: July 17, 2020, 11:32:20 PM »
Quote from: scorpio333 on July 16, 2020, 10:23:03 AM
What's the difference between fiction and reality?

Fiction has to make sense.
It's not a joke, unfortunately...
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