Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 295415 times)

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #945 on: May 02, 2020, 12:30:17 PM »
I went to a club the other night.

They played the Twist, I did the Twist.

They played Jump, I Jumped.

They played YMCA, I did the YMCA.

They played Come on Eileen, I was asked to leave.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #946 on: May 05, 2020, 11:26:43 AM »
Fauci gives Trump a daily briefing each day. He concludes a recent briefing by telling Trump, "Yesterday 300 Brazilian citizens died of Covid-19". Trump exclaims, "Oh no, that's terrible". Everyone in the room is shocked by the President's empathy and compassion, they sit nervously as the President holds his head in his hands. After a minute, Trump looks up and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Offline Sir Thrift-a-Lot

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #947 on: May 05, 2020, 12:35:50 PM »
 :laugh:

Offline gdv

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #948 on: May 05, 2020, 03:09:09 PM »
That was funny!  Even if I am a "Trump" guy...  :0
5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions...

Offline Vpgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #949 on: May 05, 2020, 03:56:04 PM »
That was funny!  Even if I am a "Trump" guy...  :0
THIS is funny - you did a coming-out ;)
BTW, most of the politicians are so funny for their voters. Doesn't matter what s country or political party.

Offline Jim Pittsburgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #950 on: May 05, 2020, 08:54:48 PM »
THIS is funny - you did a coming-out ;)
BTW, most of the politicians are so funny for their voters. Doesn't matter what s country or political party.

That's a pathetic reason to vote for anyone, let alone tRump. Were you one of his followers that injected Lysol? Or are you one of his "good people" that are paid to put on shows at state capitals.
a bunch of nice sounding stuff. Nice that I'm finally able to actually listen to file music for the first time...

Offline Vpgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #951 on: May 05, 2020, 10:43:23 PM »

That's a pathetic reason to vote for anyone, let alone tRump. Were you one of his followers that injected Lysol? Or are you one of his "good people" that are paid to put on shows at state capitals.
Ok, I love that tone.
Let me say something again: nobody on this particular discussion desk has an experience living in different countries, with different political systems,  except me might be . I grew up in Soviet Union, never lived in "independent" Russia, working hard for pennies in IT fields now.
It's hard to understand for me that US folks are so crazy now about politic leaders, at time that main point should be in different direction...

So, I really appreciate for your opinion. Please, continue.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #952 on: May 06, 2020, 09:43:48 AM »
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Offline EmperorNorton

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #953 on: May 06, 2020, 01:04:54 PM »
You forgot about the third one, who does nothing but call them names.   
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #954 on: May 06, 2020, 02:10:32 PM »
You forgot about the third one, who does nothing but call them names.

What's an adult to do when the pressure is on and you have no answers? 


On a serious note, these are just jokes. Perhaps I should avoid the hot button topics.

Offline Sir Thrift-a-Lot

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #955 on: May 06, 2020, 11:29:50 PM »


On a serious note, these are just jokes. Perhaps I should avoid the hot button topics.

The Fauci one got a lot of play on my FB page.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #956 on: May 07, 2020, 09:34:47 AM »
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you OK?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for. "I'm okay I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."

"That's nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly! Stay for awhile. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"My guess is that she's still in the ditch."
« Last Edit: May 07, 2020, 09:40:17 AM by scorpio333 »

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #957 on: May 08, 2020, 10:22:22 AM »
So I started drinking a bottle of windex every morning

I'm not sure it prevents Covid-19

But my underwear has never been cleaner and NO more streaks!

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #958 on: May 09, 2020, 09:54:38 AM »
A kid asks his mother, "what's dark humor?"

His mom replies, "You see that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap."

He replies, "But mom, I'm blind!"

Mom, "Exactly!"

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #959 on: May 11, 2020, 07:28:16 AM »
Never met Kingman, miss his daily starters. Maybe we can continue the thread?

However, for the time being nothing but inside jokes.

Haven't been on here in a while.  It's nice to see you picking this back up.