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Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 303695 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #570 on: September 29, 2016, 06:45:44 AM »
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants that lack the will to live?  ???
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #571 on: October 01, 2016, 05:56:56 AM »
Egotist: A person who is usually me-deep in conversation.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #572 on: October 03, 2016, 07:46:41 AM »
Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #573 on: October 11, 2016, 08:08:52 AM »
Life isn't about winning and losing. It's about wishing you would have won and wondering why you lost.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #574 on: October 13, 2016, 06:31:56 PM »
My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.  :(
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #575 on: October 14, 2016, 06:27:07 AM »
If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?  ???
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #576 on: October 17, 2016, 03:29:23 PM »
I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #577 on: October 18, 2016, 08:49:30 AM »
Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... you're one of them.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #578 on: October 19, 2016, 07:40:53 AM »
The road to success is always under construction.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #579 on: October 20, 2016, 08:43:25 AM »
I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!" f**king bitch.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #580 on: October 22, 2016, 08:26:42 AM »
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #581 on: October 23, 2016, 08:51:08 AM »
Why don't witches wear panties? They get a better grip on their brooms!
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #582 on: October 26, 2016, 06:57:30 AM »
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.
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Offline geoffr

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #583 on: October 26, 2016, 02:41:13 PM »
Hipsters are what happen when you tell every child that they're special.
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Offline RuralTom

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #584 on: October 26, 2016, 03:46:51 PM »
Quote from: geoffr on October 26, 2016, 02:41:13 PM
Hipsters are what happen when you tell every child that they're special.

LOL....  you sure it isn't just what happens when they believe it?
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